Posted on November 16 2018
Topic #2 of 3 “My boobs are fake”
These 2 amazing kids sucked the life out of them, literally & I wouldn’t change that for the world.
(BTW for those w/o kids, nobody ever tells you the REAL shit your body’s about to experience)
I was never big to begin with, but breastfeeding & 2 kids later mixed w/working out, losing weight/bf, they were the 1st things to go & I mean like DISAPPEAR completely, in fact at one point I started calling them “negatives”.
I hated looking in the mirror, shopping, everything to me looked horrible. Cute sleeveless attire? FORGET about it, it would just fall down since there was nothing to hold them up. Sports bra’s? I felt like a 10 year old little girl & looking “athletic” didn’t help.
Swimsuit shopping? HELL NO, just enhanced & reminded me MORE of what I DIDN’T have.
Did you know there’s actually a bra named “barely there”? WTH thanks for reminding me! 🙄.
Again, here I found myself in tears trying on 20 diff tops walking away with none because I hated the way I looked.
Top it off, I was a single mom which is the absolute toughest job in the world mixed w/running my own biz, you put everyone else first & at the end of the day I just wanted to “feel” pretty & feminine in my clothes. I still never cared what anyone else thought, this was all in internal battle with how I perceived myself except for just starting to date my (almost) husband & was scared to death for him to see me w my shirt off for the first time (he never thought otherwise of course 💕) but as a woman, or at least me I was terrified. .
Getting implants went against all who I was “possibly harmful, superficial, not natural” until one day my friend took me to a consultation to “see” & the rest was history. I literally stuck thousands cash in my shirt where my new boobs would be and took a photo. I’ll try & find it for you 😂.
I cringe at being the center of attn, or drawing attn to myself so unless you were in my close circle of friends you wouldn’t have known. I kept them small, in fact the exact natural size i was before pregnancy and it was perfect because it was a familiar ME. .
I’m not saying get fake boobs.
My message is this:
As women we battle internally and we battle HARD, at least I do.
Accepting and loving yourself is hard. when your body changes dramatically from what you’ve been used to for most your life then POOF GONE! It’s hard again.
The things that make us “feel” womanly on the outside truly play an integral part of who we are on the inside too whether we like it or not & Learning to accept those changes is the hardest part of all. for the outsiders looking in they won’t understand because to them you “look great” or “doing amazing” all you do is politely smile and say thx yet you’re DYING on the inside and sometimes no matter how many self help or positive books you read can get you out of it. Being self conscious is a thing no matter your age weight shape or form and being afraid to talk about it makes it worse.
Just know YOU are not alone, whatever your own internal shitstorm is, you are NORMAL it’s perfectly OKAY and you WILL be okay and you are fucking incredible the way you are!
Now there are SO many resources to help, read, reach out and things you can do FOR yourself that maybe at that time is the BEST thing for you.
You’ll start walking around feeling like you again, head held high and the strong confident woman you were all meant to be. 💗💗💗Download my journal here to help guide you through all the in's and outs of life and fuel your passion with purpose and love